„I don’t make vows. I keep them.” – unknown
According to psychologist Judith Beck ph.D, when setting our vows and goals, we set ourselves 4 traps that, if we know about them in advance, we can surpass ourselves.
According to a recent survey of people living in the United States, roughly 74% of people have set a New Year’s resolution. This ratio may be similar in EU as well. (source: Peak)
★At the top of the list of vows is the goal of healthier eating. Our first 4 goals include:
1. I eat healthier (we can help with this, with nearly 150 different flavors and a 23% OFF )
2. I spend more time with friends and family,
3. I spend less time on social media
4. I will quit smoking
Although most people initially believe they will succeed, research shows, and we all suspect: WE WILL GIVE UP in two weeks.
★ What does Judit Beck say, what should we avoid in order to achieve what we want?
★ According to Judit Beck, it is not a lack of commitment or willpower that causes people to give up their vows. Beck wrote about this in her books The Beck Diet Solution and The Diet Trap Solution:
★ Trap 1: We make vows that we lack certain skills to achieve.
Given that we waited all year to formulate our goals, we often want too much at the beginning of the year, all at once. If our goals are unrealistic, they are unattainable and this undermines motivation.
We don’t have to stop setting gigantic goals, we just have to think about them differently. If the goal is DIFFICULT, then smaller sub-goals need to be defined to achieve it. In this way, proceeding step by step, we will reach even the seemingly unattainable business.
★ Trap 2: Almost no one considers the obstacles!
There will ONLY be obstacles. It is worth preparing for this in advance. Let’s think ahead about what obstacles we will encounter on the way. If we do this, we will not be surprised to find that we are making good progress in spite of new and new difficulties. Let’s hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
★ Trap 3: We go all or nothing to extremes!
It’s a natural human tendency, this black and white way of thinking. If we fail to achieve 100%, we attack ourselves – we are not „good enough” – and give up on our plans. This is a very common thought pattern.
In order to overcome all-or-nothing thoughts, it is extremely helpful if we don’t come up with our resolutions as a frozen, binding goal. The plan is important, but if we deviate from it, let’s continue with our project. Let’s continue the work even if there have been swings, rests, or interruptions.
This flexibility is a huge help.
★Trap 4: Do you love yourself?
Perhaps this is the most important, for the implementation of all kinds of goals and resolutions. Unnecessarily harsh, exaggerated self-critical thinking about ourselves is not helpful at all.
The recipe for easier goal attainment is to speak to ourselves with compassion and love even in the case of mistakes. What would you say to a friend or loved one who made the same mistake you made when keeping your vows? Right? If you are unrealistically hard on yourself, you will NOT be able to continue working with a good feeling.
Feel free to use this Peak article to help you as well.
new year resolution
new year resolution trap
Referenciák:
Judit Beck phD. (books):
The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person
The Diet Trap Solution: Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good
David B. Feldman, Ph.D. Santa Clara University.
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